10 months...

So I decided to start a blog. Really this is more for me than for anyone else. A place to get out my thoughts, frustrations, things that work and things that don't. I want to have information written down so that if anyone especially maybe one of my own kids has to go through a similar situation, they have an in the moment account of how I learned to live life differently after Brooklyn was born. 

I have wanted to do this for a long time, but was a little overwhelmed and didn't know where to start. So my plan is get down what we have been through and learned about Brooklyn as well as what we are currently going through and trying. There really isn't going to be any particular order and while I want to include the beginning of her story, it will be mixed in with what we are working on now. I'm also not putting pressure on myself with this thing, its supposed to be mostly for posterity and help keep the people that love us and Brooklyn updated on how she is doing. So no promises as far as how often I will post (that is mostly for me). But I truly want this to be a real account of our lives. It won't be all warm fuzzy, but it also won't be completely depressing. Just a honest and not always eloquent description of what is going through my mind and what is going on with Brooklyn. 

Its hard to believe that it has been almost 10 months since my life turned in a direction that I never thought it would and never even considered. When I was pregnant with Brooklyn, I used to say well my life is already crazy with 3 kids so why not throw one more in the mix. Yeah, I had no idea what I was talking about. 

I think about that first week after she was born and how many unknowns were thrown at us. Brandon would quickly look up terms that the doctors used on his phone and we would try to speculate and figure out what we were up against with this sweet little girl that we loved so much. I would come home after talking to doctors all day and completely lose it, usually in the shower. I just didn't think that I had the strength to deal with it all. Looking back on all that now, its amazing to think about everything that I have been through since and about all the things that I have learned and done that I never thought that I was capable of. I truly believe that the Lord gives us strength when we are so whipped we can't stand, it not always in the way we expect or maybe even want...but it is there.